Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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