i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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