i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
