And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
