You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
