Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
