Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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