Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
