he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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