You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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