Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
