he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
