lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
