Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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