This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
