those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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