Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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