even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
