I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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