naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
