I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
