okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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