Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I could fuck to npr.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
