He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
We smell like vodka and hangover
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
