they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
