Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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