I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
