You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
