I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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