I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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