Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
