just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
