You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
