would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
