i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
