Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
