Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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