ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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