If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
