He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
