Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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