So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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