I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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