Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
