I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish i was in the wii world.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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