would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
