I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
