cat food counts as protein by the way
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just want nice things and good sex
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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