they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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