wat bout pragnant strippers??
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm at about main and main street
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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