how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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